if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize