THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
