i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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