the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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