can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
