I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
false alarm. still invincible.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
