if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think my moral compass just broke
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
