please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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