Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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