you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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