I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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