That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
