Jerry, you need to find god
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
