for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
