I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I love you.
Bad choice
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