My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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