i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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