My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
