whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Holy shit dude........stairs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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