oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
