I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
