Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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