Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
