normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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