"it" just moved
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
