**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
