I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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