I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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