I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
