using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
