i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize