i jhust puked up my retainher.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
