I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
