I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
