Screwed.edu
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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