Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize