I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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