oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
