Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
