so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize