What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he shaved USA in his pubs
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize