Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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