I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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