white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
