apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Im part way to drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
