I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize