hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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