And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
