i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
