Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
