So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
