I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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