I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
