being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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