note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
