I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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