i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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