so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
