You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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