Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
