Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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