My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize