the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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