What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
