mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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