Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
