Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
