I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
how does that bad decision feel?
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