would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have aggressive nipples.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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