did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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