Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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