do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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